At the Atlanta airport -

You gotta love this one even if you've never lived in the South.
Some of you will enjoy this more than others.
Southerners can be so polite!

Atlanta ATC: 'Tower to Saudi Air 511 -- You are cleared to land EASTbound on runway 9R Saudi Air: 'Thank you Atlanta ATC. Acknowledge cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R - Allah be Praised.'

Atlanta ATC: 'Tower to Iran Air 711 --You are cleared to land WESTbound on runway 9R.' Iran Air: 'Thank you Atlanta ATC. We are cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R. - Allah is Great.' Pause...

Saudi Air: 'ATLANTA ATC - ATLANTA ATC'
Atlanta ATC: 'Go ahead Saudi Air 511.'
Saudi Air: 'YOU HAVE CLEARED BOTH OUR AIRCRAFTS FOR THE SAME RUNWAY GOING IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS. WE ARE ON A Collision Course. INSTRUCTIONS, PLEASE.'
Atlanta ATC: 'Well bless your hearts. And praise Jesus. Y'all be careful now and tell Allah